Dungeon Keeper featured

Alright, Dungeon Keeper, You’ve Got Thirty Minutes

Dungeon Keeper 01

It’s impossible to pretend that I’ve felt or witnessed much enthusiasm for this, purportedly the latest instalment in the Dungeon Keeper series. We’ve seen nothing new for fifteen years, which is of course not unusual for fondly remembered PC game titles. In that light the forthcoming release of a new Dungeon Keeper might have prompted cautious enthusiasm, as with 2K/Firaxis’s XCOM Enemy Unknown.

This has not been the case here and it’s not hard to understand why. Electronic Arts own the Dungeon Keeper property and in the last few years have built a reputation for imitating proven monetising techniques established in the mobile market years ago – literal lifetimes in the quick generational cycles of smartphones. Last year they took the wildly successful and popular Plants vs. Zombies – a one-time purchase game – and expelled a sequel with divisive freemium features, in-app-purchasing and a requirement that players grind already-completed levels in order to progress. 

Over the three years Arcadian Rhythms has been alive thus far (it’s our third birthday in a bit over a month – please send cake) I’ve spent more than my fair share of time playing and writing about games built around this model, and it’s safe to say I’m fairly sick of it. I’ve previously said that if I never see another cooldown timer as long as I live, it will not have been too soon. This clearly makes me the perfect person to try out Dungeon Keeper.

As the title makes clear, I’m giving the fucker thirty minutes.

Dungeon Keeper 02
There is no fourth wall left to break.

Things begin on a familiar note: a deep, throaty, sinister voice welcomes me back: “So, you finally return, Keeper.”

Hey, don’t pin this on me. I never went anywhere. I played Dungeon Keeper II as recently as 2012. It’s still a great game, you know?

As expected we launch into things with a tutorial. Swipe to slap minions around, tap to mine out bits of rock, tap this button, tap that button, and by jove don’t tap anything other than you’re instructed.

A sign of the times, I suppose, that where Dungeon Keeper’s predecessors set you objectives and then left you to figure out the details, this game holds you by the hand all the way. The tutorial, happily, is over in just under twenty minutes – and would’ve been quicker had I obeyed the game’s exhortations to spend in-game currency on skipping 60-second cooldown timers. I made a cup of tea instead.

There are plenty of game elements that will be familiar to players of the original Bullfrog-developed games. A throbbing dungeon heart lies at the core of your domain. Imps are used to mine out rock and build rooms. Traps and doors can be constructed and placed to defend your dungeon. Trolls, bile demons and the infamous Horny are all present and accounted for.

Then there are the immediately obvious differences: your dungeon is yours forever, with no separate levels demanding a fresh start. Static stone and gold mines will slowly produce resources ad infinitum. Creatures can be summoned (via a queue, of course, which you can also pay to skip) once you’ve met prerequisites, rather than wandering in via a portal and bedding down.

The biggest difference lies in the dispensing with sequential level-based progression and the granting to players of a dungeon that is theirs forever. This new Dungeon Keeper allows dirt to be piled back into place – something the original games never permitted – meaning that it’s possible to entirely reconfigure a dungeon’s layout. Battles, meanwhile, are compartmentalised into raids and defence missions, with the former involve placing summoned minions and hoping they can best an opponent’s dungeon layout. The latter, meanwhile, puts your own defences to the test, again bolstered with summoned minions.

If I am entirely honest, it’s actually… not bad. I’m genuinely surprised to say it, but for a half hour of play this was good fun. I can also add that it’s been very competently developed, gobbling far less juice than most other games I’ve played on my tablet and performing smoothly throughout. Kudos to Mythic Entertainment for this achievement.

And yet! It’s clear from the very first few minutes with Dungeon Keeper that its cooldown timers will grow lengthier and its demands for in-game currency to expedite actual gameplay will concurrently increase. Besides which the core raid-and-defence gameplay is, well, it’s Clash of Clans. That the game is set in underground rooms and tunnels allows for a greater degree of tower defence-esque planning and optimisation is a nice feature, but if you’ve played CoC or any of its legion of clones there’s little here that feels new or enticing. (Correct me if I’m wrong, readers: I’ve seen CoC in action but not played it myself.)

As a critic I feel compelled to play on in order to report more about this game. It feels like the honest thing to do, even though the direction in which the wind blows is already quite clear. But as a gamer I would prefer to stop here, right now, this very instant. Why spoil a fond memory – especially one built on the back of warranted nostalgia?

[EA’s Dungeon Keeper was played on an £80 Chinese Android tablet (1.5ghz dual core, 1gb RAM). It’s made by a company called Ainol, so Shaun likes to refer to it as “a suppository”.]

Dungeon Keeper 03
“Best Value”

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13 responses to “Alright, Dungeon Keeper, You’ve Got Thirty Minutes”

  1. Garee Avatar
    Garee

    Does the voice do it justice though? IT IS PAYDAY! etc…

    Ainol tablets, I nearly bought one of those for my daughter, but then thought better of it, as it didn't sound right.

    1. ShaunCG Avatar

      It's a fair approximation of the original mentor's performance, although your mentor is now Horny, so it's a touch weird for that voice to be coming from that character…

      I'm using an Elf 2 Novo 7 and it's a pretty good wee tablet. Cost me £80 eighteen months ago and runs pretty much any app or game I put on it well enough. Wifi range and battery life are the only real issues, aside from the fact that it's (obviously, at the price) made out of plastic and doesn't have a very high resolution / sharp display. But yeah, the name is a bit dodgy / hilarious!

  2. @SeekNoise Avatar

    Haha… that 'Best Value' screenshot at the end is hilarious. XD

    I might check this out and see how well it works on my Galaxy S3. I miss the old games and I'm sad that they didn't make a new PC/console version (which could've done really well if it was designed with some thought and creativity behind it), but at least it sounds like they've made more than a half-arsed effort with this release, and I'd quite like to help encourage that sort of atittude in a world that's gradually descending into a F2P mobile gaming dystopia.

    1. ShaunCG Avatar

      If it works on my suppository, it will work a treat on your S3. My S2 is beefier than that little tablet!

      Most other reviews are pointing out, and I suppose I should do too, that you can buy either of the original DKs from GOG.com for only a shade more than the cheapest gem purchase in that final screenshot.

      But yes, this is better than the usual standard, even if that only really means that it's not stupid enough to consume its own faeces.

  3. Madd Avatar
    Madd

    Really liked the article, and it follows a separate one that covers this in a little more detail. You might want to read it here:
    http://www.baekdal.com/opinion/how-inapp-purchase

    The most important part of it is the 'review' (a.k.a. rant) in this youtube video:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpdoBwezFVA

    Quite frankly fuck IAP.

    1. ShaunCG Avatar

      Thanks Madd, glad you liked it!

      That video rant is excellent and it's heartening to see such strong reactions to this stuff. I also try to be honest about my reactions and part of that is acknowledging where elements of a game do appeal to me, alongside whatever I find ludicrous, offensive or grossly exploitative.

      My favourite IAP game is Puzzle & Dragons, which I've never put a penny into despite scores of hours of play. It feels like an anachronism in that there is no need for the player to pay for anything; the game is generous enough as time passes that you can get by just fine, and even do well. Paying more money essentially gets you more goes on a lucky dip to try and find a particular monster you want for a particular team configuration you're planning. It's unnecessary. But I wonder if P&D's generosity is a side-effect of its position in the market (immense international success) rather than part of the reason for it. Chicken or egg?

      Via the article you linked I found my way to another, which I thought was great: http://www.baekdal.com/opinion/optimizing-your-in

      Having played Asphalt 7, aka. IAP Burnout, much of the article is inarguable.

  4. Gregg B Avatar
    Gregg B

    Okay I tried posting this at work but for some reason it wasn't having any of it!

    "Meant to read this days ago because DK (no not Donkey Kong) is close to my heart for many reasons besides it being a fucking great game.

    It was the first game I truly feverishly anticipated being released. It was the first game I truly feverishly anticipated being released that looked totally alien to me in that I had no idea how it was supposed to be played and the tiny screenshots in magazines told me nothing. It was very much a game that sounded amazing from what I read rather than what I saw. It was the first game to introduce me to game-breaking bugs, customer support and patch disks (sent in the post!!). And it was probably the first game that I remember being hopelessly addicted to more than any other. It consumed me at the time, which made the game-breaking bugs (that I never managed to fix) all the more painful. God, it makes me sad thinking about it.

    Anyway, great write-up! That last screenshot is pure gold though. £69.99!? *spits tea out* Best value? According to who?

    As for playing DK today, I'd recommend the GOG version with KeeperFX: http://keeper.lubiki.pl/html/dk_keeperfx.php

    This version is getting a royal ripping though. The Metro review quote is beautiful.
    http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2014-02-05-dunghttp://metro.co.uk/2014/02/04/dungeon-keeper-revihttp://www.metacritic.com/game/ios/dungeon-keeper

    1. ShaunCG Avatar

      Haha, that final Metro line is marvellous. It seems they have some decent brains among their games writers; they also reviewed Papers, Please which I didn't expect to see in what is basically a dreadful tabloid.

      So do you rate DK1 over DK2? I played the first after the second, I think, although it was long enough ago that I can't quite recall.

      1. Gregg B Avatar
        Gregg B

        I prefer DK1 because it's a little more grim and I have a soft spot for the crusty sprites. The second game is arguably the better of the two mechanically but the 3D graphics don't look quite as appealing to me and the general atmosphere is a lot more whimsical and it's visually brighter. Also, DK2 doesn't have any dragons, and there's something really cool about them loving libraries in the first game. But it does feature some amusing cut-scenes between levels which are a nice reward, and the adviser says some really random shit while you're playing. "Your dungeon is infested with micro-piglets!" "Your dungeon has no central heating!"

        For comparison:
        http://youtu.be/Ah9mMvloZxU – DK1 intro and level 1
        http://youtu.be/ASDOrCzvJoI – DK2 intro
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1MN-AqPt-4 – DK2 level 1

        1. ShaunCG Avatar

          Ah, yeah, I definitely remember DK1. Seeing those giant beetles reminds me of being somehow disappointed that they weren't in DK2!

          Next time I fancy a bout of DK nostalgia I'll go for the first rather than the second. :)

  5. […] you see fit) around EA’s mobile Dungeon Keeper unfold. I had actually thought that my piece, in which I gave Dungeon Keeper thirty minutes to prove its worth, was fairly harsh treatment. I had no idea what was to […]

  6. […] you see fit) around EA’s mobile Dungeon Keeper unfold. I had actually thought that my piece, in which I gave Dungeon Keeper thirty minutes to prove its worth, was fairly harsh treatment. I had no idea what was to […]

  7. Gregg B Avatar
    Gregg B

    DK Gold is free on GOG for the weekend! Hurrah!

    I nearly pulled the trigger on it earlier in the week but I'm glad I held fire.