Whose House? Minecraft House

We see an awful lot of posts about the awesome things players have built in Minecraft. Things like musical boxes that play ‘Still Alive’, ¬†or the starship Enterprise, or a working computer, or New York City, or even themselves. But these are great and legendary accomplishments, not for the likes of mere mortals such as you and I.

We may stand to one side of the shoulders of giants, but we can make some cool shit too, right? And that’s why Minecraft is awesome. Like a face only a mother could love, we adore our own ramshackle creations despite how fundamentally rubbish they are.

Here’s some crap I made in my first world:

Minecraft screenshot #1

Yes. Yes it is. Here we are inside the first hovel I carved from the very flesh of the earth.

Minecraft screenshot #2

Outside, I grow crops thanks an irrigation system only a drunk idiot with zero understanding of crop rotation systems could manage.

Minecraft screenshot #3

What’s this above? Some kind of ridiculous floating castle?

Minecraft screenshot #4

Yep, pretty much!

Minecraft screenshot #4b

Alas, it’s not finished. This was around the time I discovered that you could put cobblestone into a furnace and make nicer stone. You need a lot of it.

Minecraft screenshot #5

I did manage to finish my sky sauna, though. And, because it’s at cloud level and clouds clip through everything, I can even occasionally pretend it’s full of hot steam. Lush.

Minecraft screenshot #6

The problem with floating castles hovering above the clouds is that it’s remarkably easy to fall off them.

Here’s my second world, begun once I had a basic understanding of how Minecraft worked. I emphasise “basic”.

Minecraft screenshot #7

Having a big, obvious and well-lit tunnel from your spawn point to your main base can be useful.

Minecraft screenshot #8

This time I elected to build a primitive mud fort with an inner and outer keep, and a stone tower in the middle. Obviously I have parapets because parapets are cool. Much cooler than a man who builds an inner and outer keep in Minecraft.

Minecraft screenshot #9

You may have noticed I have a lot of spades. This is because I’m digging a moat. A moat… of cacti!

Minecraft screenshot #10

Alas my library is pretty crappy. Harvesting papyrus is boring.

Minecraft screenshot #11

I grow trees atop my tower, because I am a wizard and trees are good.

Minecraft screenshot #12

Or perhaps I am a king, surveying my own calm kingdom. I have no idea why so much livestock spawns inside the keep, but at least they’re mostly edible or wearable.

So there you have it: that’s some rubbish that I made. It took me hours. What have you made? Is it better? Is it worse? Is it impressive, or hilarious? Please share your lacklustre creations!