Dark Souls: A Poem

I don’t really know how to review Dark Souls. As a reviewer, I accept defeat. My opinions on the game are a mystery, even to me. I will never, ever finish it, so I’m not sure if I even should review it.

One thing that struck me when reading about it online was how vicious the fight was between those who adore the challenge and those who simply can’t comprehend why it would ever be fun to play a game this difficult. I completely agree with both groups at the same time, though I don’t necessarily agree with the way they choose to discuss it with each other.

These oddly personal and deeply bitter online diatribes were simply too entertaining to ignore, so in lieu of a review here is a ‘found poem’ about Dark Souls, sourced from the comments of angry gamers posting on GameFAQs, YouTube, Reddit, x360a, and preparetodie.com.



Dark Souls is a test that only few can pass.
Those who do go on to be skilled elite gamers,
Those do don’t are doomed to be mediocre gamers.
Not fact, just your opinion. I bet your opinion is wrong.

And another elitist comes out the woodworks. Along with the rest in tow, of course.
The game lacks basic controls that have been around since the Atari.
Have fun dying and talking about how cool it is,
I’m off to do things that are actually fun.

Am i suppose to go into the demon area and fight this effing huge eternal discharge thing?

You do not have the patience, skill, or discipline to enjoy this game.
Gaming today has hand fed a lot of people, and it really isn’t their fault.
It’s just how society shifted it.
I recommend you go and play something easier.

Anyone could sit there dying over and over again and eventually succeed.
That doesn’t make you smart,
It just makes you a dumb ass.
WTF, are people Blind? You cant tell a horrible game when you see one?

I joined the chaos covenant accidentally killing the egg servant of hers in the process. So my head turned into eggs.

Hopefully the secret achievements seperate
the men from the boys.
You forget a lot of these kids are growing up in a world,
Where games are now built for entertainment.
Get super smash bros for your wii and leave the glory to the rest of us

There’s bunch things about this game that makes it, i don;t know, stupid ?
why do i loosing expierience ?
And How to beat these bitches ?
What next, where’s the map ?

Not sure if serious…
I don’t think Dark Souls is for you, buddy.

Fuck the Blowdart Snipers. Fuck those things to the Sun.

It is so hilarious to see all of these people pretend they are hardcore for putting up with this
You are so much more willing to beat
your heads agains the wall
good god that is so hardcore.
I’m in awe.

They did NOT make this game for your kind.
Go back to fps.
What part of that do you fail to understand?
This game is sweet. It sucks that you are unable to enjoy it.
sorry to break it to you bro, but you do suck.