It’s about damn time

At last! At bloody last! I have my own copy of Earth Defence Force: Insect Armageddon!

EDF collection

Would you just look at that little collection. It’s a thing of beauty, right?

Anyway, I’m afraid that my Global Defence Force: Tactics┬áreview is running a little late (illness, drunkenness, Insect Armageddon; you know) and will be up tomorrow, marking the end of EDF Fortnight. Unless we Euros decide to do a second review of IA, that is.

Because the GDFT┬áreview is running late, here’s a little something I cooked up to amuse you. With apologies and thanks to Doom: Repercussions of Evil, I proudly present…

EARTH DEFENCE FORCE: REPERCUSSIONS OF EVIL

John Detroit waited. The stars above him shined and glitered out of the clouds. There were aliens in the city. He didn’t see them, but had known they were underground and above the sky for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

John was a EDF trouper for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the alien spaceships and he said to dad “I want to be on the ships daddy.”

Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY BIG ANTS”

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in New Detroit he saw the spaceships and he knew there were ants.

“This is Joson” the radio crackered. “You must fight the bugs!”

So John gotted his assault rifle and blew up the spaceship and made it fall down and bugs came out.

“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the bugs

“I will shoot at him” said the gigantor bau and he shooted sticky web at him. John assaulted at him and tried to bullet him up. But then a skyscraper fell down and they were trapped under rocks and not able to kill.

“No! I must kill the bugs” he shouted

The radio said “No, John. You are the bugs”

And then John was a spider.